Yeah, yeah, it's on my tumblr too, whatcha gon do bout it?

OK.  I’m all about the social networking. I have a blogger, tumblr, twitter, facebook and even two myspaces somewhere on the webs that I randomly remember and update the second one of because i don’t even remember which email address I used to create the first one, or its url. I check in places if I want people to know where I am, I had an excite webpage about myself back in 2001 and I don’t regret any one of them (exceeept maybe the myspace v.1.)
Anywhore.

There are far too many faux pas (yes, it’s spelled the same in singular and plural, in case you were wondering. I myself was unsure so I had to consult the interwebs to help me on my quest for knowledge… Amusingly enough, unlike deer and deer, it’s pronounced differently, those silly frenchpeoples… end aside and insert request to pretend like there was no three sentence interruption from yours truly) that are running rampant, mainly through the facebooks.

DISCUSS-
1- The people who have no general idea of grammar structures and/or orthographic norms.
I understand, spelling is not everyone’s cup of tea.  Some people don’t understand grammar like the linguistics minor and lit major.  I get it, promise.  But people that blatantly and knowingly look back at their mother tongue and flick that middle finger proudly in the air make me sick.
eg-

• people that can’t add an “e” onto any form of “be”. Really? Is it that hard, instead of typing “I’m lyk gonna b at the pool tomorrow” to just add the extra letter.  B.E. BE.  be. it’s not hard. in fact, it’s quite natural, it is after all, how we’ve been spelling this for years and years… Don’t even get me started on lyk, bcause (a-ha, i’m tricksy and just a bit punny, yesh?) it’s a completely different story and my head will explode. 
• DEFINITELY.  good christ almighty save us all. the worst is when people spell the word defiantly.  The little red lines don’t show up, so it must be correct, yes?  NO!  FIND A DICTIONARY, READ WHAT DEFIANTLY MEANS. this rant is kinda tired, so i’mma just let it be.

2- The people that add everyone they meet or come across, whether it be electronically or physically “just because”. (Gays especially are a big culprit of this.)
A. YOU DON’T HAVE 5000 REAL FRIENDS.  And you don’t meet 30 new people a day.  Please stop hiding behind numbers of friends and join a recreation.
     i. play some tennis
     ii. go for a walk… or a run. there’s a chance you need it.
     iii. get out of your mother’s basement and see the sunlight.

B. Orrrr, there’s the other kinds, the twinky mo’s who are sluts and think that they have to find every gay male in a 50 mile radius and add them, just because they’re gay.  That’s what Grindr is for.  Thankfully I don’t have one of those… I’m sure my boyfriend appreciates it too.

C. Just because I met you 20 minutes ago doesn’t mean I want to be your facebook friend. Sure, if we hit it off and we had an awesome conversation, go for it.  I’m sure, if we became buddies quickly I’d love to talk to you more.  But if we had just a little small talk back and forth, it’s not worth it.

3- The ones who constantly update their status about how bored they are. 
Now I will say this, I’m not knocking it. everyone has those days where they want to do something but the world is taking a poo on them/ everyone they know or care about is busy, at work or in France, for example.  If it happens more than once a week, please go back and read Section 2.A.i. - 2.A.iii.  Or find some new friends because obviously something’s not right.

This also can be put upon the people telling their friends to “hit me up.” When used in moderation, it’s definitely okay, but at the end of every status in a week… hmmm? a little excessive, no?

4- People who put pictures of themselves smoking weed as their profile picture.
Really?  *judgment eyes*
That’s all that needs to be said.

5- People who update their status more times in a day than (and I say this verrrry generally) “normal” people do in a week.
GET.A.GOD.DAMN.TWITTER.

It’s acceptable there. And you can even send tweets via text message. You can always say something snatchy to/about the people around you who don’t know you and won’t ever see your tweet, unless you’re dumb/they look over your shoulder.  Then you might be in some trouble.

6- The event inviters.

No, I don’t want to go to your fundraiser in East Gabib. No, I don’t care about wombats in the Ukraine.  Especially if I don’t know you that well/ you invited all of your facebook friends. And I get one from you every 20 minutes.

7- The people like me, who rant about all of the faux pas on facebook. 
Heyyyy hypocrisy.  Except I’m not ranting about it on facebook. Unfortunately, my tumblr is attached to my facebook and I have no intention of hiding this post.

But. I will say, at least I know how egregious my ranting is… And that’s like listening to shitty music. As long as you are aware of how much of a tool you look like to everyone else, it’s okay ;)
And now I’m over it.  At least, I’m tired of typing stereotypes… like the girls with no self confidence who post 10 trillions pictures of themselves that all look the same… and the people who pretend to be cool…. (fade out on a continuation of the irksome things people do, including myself…)