A rant on... Mountain Dew? Oh yes.

I realized what irks me the most today...

What is that you may ask? I'll tell you, it's really quite easy:

Stupidity.  I hate to say/see/think it so i put it really small.....

There is a specific instance in which brought on these seething thoughts that will quickly turn into a rant, i can feel it... 

The next time someone is drinking mountain dew and another person says something about how it is going to lower their sperm count, person 2 is going to get a gigantic slash through their throat with my not-so-sharp-(they-are-actually-quite-blunt) nails.

Especially if I'm the one drinking it.  Couple of reasons--

a number 1) I am 22 years old.  Who wants a baby at 22? I can barely keep up the lifestyle in which all i'm doing is supporting myself and the bar tab... I'm not trying to have no kids.  I don't want ANY BABIES. 0 BABIES.  (get the reference? if not, check it-- Powerthirst: Gay Edition.  You need to watch it, even if you have seen it already... it's really funny, (but caveat-- make sure you're in company that can appreciate some gross humour/ aren't easily offended.  and don't listen to it too loud if you're in public/ give a shit what anyone thinks of you)

which leads to...

b number 2) I'm gay.... WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH SPERM? It either goes down some boy's throat  (too graphic??, sorry bout it!) or on a bed somewhere.  Bitch please, step off it.  I have no use for it. I am not, nor will I be procreating any time soon, please stop acting like it's a big loss to me.  do you even know what ejaculate (that i'm 98% sure you're confusing sperm for) is made of?  because it's mostly proteins from your body that are not the ones that will get a homegirl preggo..... i'm seething just sitting at my computer, as i'm aggressively attacking my keyboard, which did absolutely nothing to me.

c number 3) you could just say "bitch, aren't you on a diet and supposed to be saving those obnoxiously large amount of calories for drinking, hmmm?"

I'd take it.

so friends (or not friends as it were) this case is closed. 

<3